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News
About Our Super El Niño Climate Crisis–Accurate Hot Pilates Studio
17+ min ago (324+ words) Here at DIE HOT Pilates (SoHo), we do things a little differently. We’re your new favorite fitness fusion studio blending elements of Pilates, barre, yoga, drought, inclement weather, the 1930s Dust Bowl, Zara Larsson, HIIT, cardio, cardiac arrest, and fun. But…...
Welcome, Soccer Fans. We’re Monetizing the Oxygen
2+ mon, 3+ week ago (559+ words) Welcome, soccer fans from around the globe, to the 2026 FIFA World Cup in the United States, Mexico, and Canada. We hope you have a pleasant stay with us and enjoy all the exciting experiences North America has to offer. Oh,…...
I Cannot Throw Away USB Cables, and It Is Becoming a Problem
3+ mon, 2+ week ago (529+ words) Oh, I see you are reading this on a device. Perhaps you need to top off your battery? Do you need a cable for that? A USB cable? Because I have an assortment. I have somehow accumulated several lifetimes’ worth…...
Our Mission at the Environmental Protection Agency Is Simple: Destroy the Environment
6+ mon, 1+ week ago (206+ words) “President Trump announced he was erasing the scientific finding that climate change endangers human health and the environment, ending the federal government’s legal authority to control the pollution that is dangerously heating the planet.” — New York Times The threats posed…...
Excerpts from The Believer: How to Snow a Mountain
7+ mon, 4+ day ago (201+ words) At the end of the day, I managed to take the gondola to the top of the green (easy) slope, and before taking my final run, remembered to look up at the landscape rather than down at my feet. Recently…...
These Deep-Sea Creatures Liked You on Hinge
7+ mon, 2+ week ago (279+ words) Use the code TENDENCY at checkout for $5 off. What I’m looking for: A confident, independent female roughly twenty times my size with a dangly, glowing orb attached to her forehead. Don’t hate me if I: Latch on to you and…...